Excerpt 4: The Congressional Testimony

Mr. Chairman and Members of the Committee,

Thank you for inviting me here today to relate the history, the capabilities, and my experiences with the flying broomstick. I wish to tell you how I came by this technology, how it was developed, what I have learned about it, and how it may prove useful. I also want to emphasize to you that this is a paradigm-changing technology: a true revolution in personal transportation.

Before I proceed, I also wish to point out that key features of this technology, such as the actual origin and how it may be passed on to others, are highly proprietary. The technology, though already demonstrated in public forums, is dangerous. I can literally show you the scars to prove it. It needs further review and testing before being presented in a more general context. In fact, the only reason it is public today is because it was revealed by accident.

I discovered the technology in July of this year. The technology allows about 300 pounds of lift, and can be vectored in any direction, including up and down. I will admit to having a rather impish nature in that I placed this technology into a broomstick for further testing. The fact this impulsive decision bore fruit is here in front of me—the broom you see is a functional flying broomstick which I have used extensively, including in London, New York, Colorado, Utah, and Nevada, so it is rather well-traveled. I used it to fly to the hearing this morning.

The technology became public in August of this year when I had an accident while doing some testing in a remote area of San Miguel County in Southwestern Colorado. The accident was simple and elementary—I flew through a tree. I needed medical care, and the urgency was such as to lead me to abandon secrecy.

Since then, I have been increasingly in the public eye. I’ll admit most people thought it was a hoax at first, but I demonstrated the broom’s capabilities convincingly in both London and New York, thanks to an opportunity presented to me by High Summit Motion Pictures. I am grateful to them for this opportunity, for it has shoved this exciting new technology to center stage and is the subject of this hearing today.

I have done some testing with the broomstick. I’ve learned it will lift me plus limited baggage quite comfortably. I’ve learned my maximum speed is about 120 miles per hour, though the comfortable cruising speed is more like 90. I’ve also learned it’s nigh useless in clouds or in the dark if there’s no horizon reference—a rider will soon lose orientation and flip over. I always ride with a safety harness that keeps me firmly attached to the broom.

Like any modern transportation device, the broomstick is dangerous. Riding one improperly, or mishandling one in an emergency, can easily result in death. This is also true of bicycles, automobiles, motorcycles, steamships, trains, and aircraft, all of which have taken their share of human life. However, just as those transportation modes have brought enormous blessings to the body politic, the broom also offers significant potential for benefit.

The broom is lightweight and can be stored in a closet instead of a garage. It’s highly personal. It needs no highways, nor, for that matter, runways. There are no docks or stations. And, most important, no external energy source is required. No oil wells must flow to keep it in the air, nor must wars be fought to assure continued access to strategic energy resources. The broom is easily built using common materials and is easily activated, the rider is easily activated, and training in basic broom handling is straightforward.

The broom could be a boon to underdeveloped countries where the highway infrastructure is unsatisfactory. It can aid people in moving small quantities of goods to market, and it can transport a presently-untapped workforce to jobs.

On the other hand, the broom can change other things. Its military usage is an unknown. On the one hand it makes infantry highly mobile, as long as the total lift capability is not exceeded. On the other hand, its use by terrorist forces can make them even more elusive. The broom is made of wood, straw and glue with very little metal, and I’m sure advances in manufacturing will eliminate the metal. This means the broom will be undetectable with current radar technology.

Brooms in the hands of common thieves will add a new dimension to police work. In the future, TV cop shows will feature scenes of broom chases through our urban streets.

[This provoked a bit of a titter.]

I might point out that so far brooms are not useful in less-than-ideal flying conditions. I’ve been caught inside clouds in heavy winds and found this a frightening and life-threatening experience. Perhaps lightweight avionics will change that. But just as motorcycle riders get wet in the rain, so will broomstick riders.

I think we should not kid ourselves on one point. Our modern society is built around the way we travel. The automobile is embedded in our psyche, as is the airplane. I am introducing a new technology that will change that. As I mentioned before, this technology requires no gasoline or jet fuel. A commuter might find a broomstick to be an enticing alternative to a commute that would normally cost twenty dollars per round trip just for the gasoline, not to mention the wear and tear on the car. I expect the broomstick will find its rightful place in the transportation mix, but until it does, a few things will have to give way. Our cities may no longer need giant freeways and huge parking lots. Traffic jams will change character. A closet at the office can handle the broomstick, the jacket, and the raingear.

I have been accused of everything from witchcraft to bad science. I point out that all new technologies seem to somehow violate the laws of physics. The Wright Brothers had to prove many people wrong: those who believed mankind simply could not fly. The invention came first. The understanding came later. And so it is with this invention. Edison made the first light bulb with carbonized bamboo. It was not until a few decades later that General Electric did the hard scientific work to home in on thoriated tungsten, which is what filaments are made of to this day. Galileo used his first telescope with two simple convex lenses long before the principles of optics were understood. Newton worked out his laws of gravity before the principles of calculus were properly explained. James Watt’s steam engine was powering mines and mills long before mechanical and thermal engineering caught up.

It’s hard to fathom that the first radio waves crossed the Atlantic only one hundred years ago. The principles behind this were vaguely articulated in Maxwell’s equations, but the real work to dig into the physics of radio waves came during World War II at the Radiation Labs at MIT. You see the pattern here. People think they understand nature and can articulate how she works. Then someone comes along with something new that throws previous theories out the window and forces investigation into the newly-discovered phenomenon.

The bottom line here is my technology is not new. It’s old physics. The laws have been there since the foundation of the universe. It’s just this is the first time mankind has seen it or used it. Our understanding of physics needs to be—and will be—adjusted to accommodate it.

The broom you see lying before you is the leading edge of a revolution in personal transportation. The effects are unknown. They’re never known when something new comes along. Truly, mankind’s reach for the new and unusual exceeds his grasp of the consequences and potential applications.

Thank you for your attention, Mr. Chairman and members of the committee. I look forward to answering any questions you may have.